i have observed something silly:
sometimes a comment on a subject may very well be more profound, more life-changing, more significant than the subject itself.
bravo to writers.

sorry no drawing. got a few WIPs but i think ive been flooding those too much over here lately. let's take a break.

loud sight

sometimes you see things and you think they're trying to tell you something.
they're really not.
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turned out totally different. mmm. blame the posters of the fest'asia.
speaking of which i wanted to go the other night but the good film they had was something i just recently watched.

on another note,
am so proud of the band. finally got 3 songs somewhat down. too bad everyone's left for vacation, no jamming sessions for a while till late july. hmm.

WIP: loud

photoshop CS3

raaaaaAAAAaaaant. my wacom does not want to make straight lines.
need. to. smash. should. not. smash. don't. smash. smash. no.

ps/ am addicted to soundtrack of californication. who knew i'd dig kill jill?

play that sexy music

i miss your music, white boy.

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WIP: playthatsexymusic

whiteboy.

photoshopCS3. oh i'm totally spamming with WIPs these days, just so that.. well, people notice i'm still alive.
am totally clueless how to go about with colours on this one.

what is this

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sketch.

pink rain

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it's too hot to do anything now.
and my pc is screwing up along with my tablet.
nothing's going too great.

WIP: pinkrain

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just a wip to bump the previous post.

finally done with studio stuff at school.
my wacom is acting up again, he's been serving me for 7 years now, i wonder if i've exhausted the charming lil old horse. god knows what kind weird substances it's concocted under the layer, with my record of spilling all sorts of things on top of it.

edit: WIP2.
progress is slow because my mind is occupied by useless things again. plus i picked up some unhealthy books.

Curvy!

So after a long battle with the post office, i finally got my package. remember that submission i did for that aussie magazine? yes it has flown several seas (or air borders) to get to me, and although it has reached my hands in a slightly tattered state (the package was already ripped open, prolly searching for the oh-so-outdated anthrax), the book looks a lot better than i expected.






i'm on page 123. i like the number yes i do.


got no idea where it's distributed since honestly dont think ive seen any previous editions of curvy around before.
then again i doubt romania gets many artbooks, so. meh.

i'm still sad that i didn't get to go to the gallery opening and launch though. the pictures they had on the YEN site look like they had a blast. ;_;

uh. oh and in the list there's another malaysian other than me! awesome =D

Background:
Your favourite annual ALL-GIRL art book, CURVY - created by the team behind YEN MAGAZINE - has been kicking up a creative storm since 2004 and with the sixth edition about to launch, CURVY remains an international favourite amongst lovers of art and supporters of female artists. Each year the book features 100 of the most exciting female graphic designers and illustrators from over 35 countries around the world. This year we've gone further with 120 artists featured.

CURVY is a must for anyone passionate about graphic design and illustration that wants to be inspired by a new generation of outstanding female creative talent. Produced by YEN magazine - CURVY kicks off again in April & consists of a cool limited edition book and a national event tour.

Featuring:
Alana Corra - Aus / Alana Skyring - Aus / Alex Tebb - Aus / Alice Jean Mckellar - Aus / Alicia Thomas - Us / Alison Richards - Aus / Amanda Mendiant - Sweden / Ameesha Earnshaw - Canada / Amy Alexander - Aus / Angela Bassichetti - Brazil / Ann Do - Aus / Anna Manolatos - Spain - Aus / Anna Pogossova - Aus / Ant Marie - Aus / Aramas Ridge - Aus / Bec Winnel - Aus / Bei Badgirl - Aus / Bel Johnstone - Aus / Caitlin Rigby - Aus / Candybird - France / Carla Zamora - Philippines / Caroline Mudge - Aus / Catherine Campbell - Aus / Catia Chien - Usa / Chelsey Freyta - Canada / Clarissa Monteiro - Brazil / Claire Cimbora - Aus / Courtney Brims - Aus / Cruz - Spain / D.U.R.A. - Malaysia / Dashenka Prochazka- Cz - Aus / Davina Purnama - Aus / Dianita - Mexico / Dominique Merven - Aus / Dora-Diamant Doury - France / Ellen Stapleton - Aus / Ellen Weinstein - Usa / Erika Coello - Ecuador / Evi O - Aus / Fanney Antonsdóttir - Norway / Fee Harding (Burntfeather) - Aus / Fernanda Guedes - Brazil / Flossy-P - Aus / Fumi Mini Nakamura - Usa / Gina Kiel - New Zealand / Giulia Balladore - Italy / Hendrika Stekhoven-Smith - Aus / Irene Feleo - Aus / Jennifer Thompson - Aus / Jenna Tink - Aus / Julia Gfrörer - Usa / Kaitlin Beckett - New Zealand / Kareena Zerefos - Aus / Karlee Mackie - Aus / Kassi Isaac - Aus / Kate Aimee Conrick - Aus / Kate Lightfoot - Aus / Katelyn James - Aus / Kelly Mckernan - Usa / Kelly Thompson - New Zealand / Kirbee Lawler - Aus / Kirsten Ewens - Aus / Kristin Fialko - Usa / Lara Allport - Aus / Lara Schubert - Aus / Laura Etheredge - Usa / Lauren Hernandez - Aus / Lila Theodoros - Aus / Lilly Piri - Germany / Lisa Falzon - Malta / Lisa Li - Nz / Lucy Wood - Aus / Maja Veselinovic - Serbia / Maria Eugenia Plate - Argentina / Maria Rapoport - Israel / Maria Vittoria Benatti - Italy / Maureen Gubia - Ecuador / Megan Yeo - Aus / Mel Baxter - Aus / Melani Olivia - Indonesia / Melissa Haslam - Aus / Melissa Murillo - France / Melyssa Anishnabie - Canada / Meredith Earls - Aus / Miao Long - Aus / Nancy Duong - Usa / The Angry Hedonist - Singapore / Natasha Serci - Aus / Nicole Tattersall - Aus / Nina Maskiell - Aus / Noferin - Aus / Patience Hodgson - Aus / Peemonster - Usa / Phresha Le Vandale - Aus / Pomme Chan - Uk / Pyhai - Netherlands / Rebecca Chalmers - Aus / Reem Khurshid - Pakistan / Roxanna Vizcarra - Usa / Ruth Wang - Canada / Sara Blake - Usa / Sarah Larnach - New Zealand / Sear - Aus / Shannon Graham - Aus / Shira Sela - Israel / Sofia Varano - Aus / Stephanie Laberis - Usa / Susan Burghart - Uk / Susannah Garden (Strafe)- Russia / Tanja Szekessy - Germany / Tiffany Muñoz - Canada / Tiffany Toland - Usa / Tuan Nini - Malaysia / Viet-My Bui - Aus / Yulia Yakushova - Russia / Yuki Nakano - Aus / Yvonne Zago - Aus / Zena Santos - Aus / Zoe Keogh - Aus / Zou Qing - China.

hey joe

hey joe,
i said where are you goin with that gun in your hand.
i'm goin down to shoot my old lady,
you know i caught her messin' round with another man.
that ain't too cool.

billy roberts-hey joe.

photoshop CS3

couldn't sleep so..messin' round with texture overload.
purposely left the hard edges of texture squares.

WIP: spineless

all these fancy words for flaws,
and they label you fancy, freak.

with love

hey you,
i still look for the back of your head in the crowds.
perhaps you can hear me now.

photoshop CS3

runumbrella

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i hate time.
it does things to you.
and within time, things happen.

fan

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ouch

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this time last year.

repeat story

may everything blur out.

photoshop CS3.

WIP: ouch

hide in pink

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WIP: hide & repeat story

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just to bump last post.
...i seem to be liking pink.

hate list

i began listing down the things i hate and i began to hate even more, quality and quantity. and i hate the fact that i know for a fact there are so many people that would be offended and deem me politically incorrect, or just incorrect in a general way. well suck it up because opinions can never be incorrect and i can say this - my opinion is that you're an asshole. i would love to go into detail to what kind of asshole you may be, but everyone of you is so special in their own assholic way that it's really unfair to describe A asshole as B asshole when A asshole might actually be a Z asshole. wait what? vicious cycle of assholes, you guys always get me.
as this post climbs down i'll probably actually update my list. so leave me be and let me hate the things i hate.

what about that? have a nice ******** day!
this city makes me sick.

let's play

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another t-shirt design for ismail. oh i forgot to mention previously that i'm doing the girls' t shirts. ^_^

box

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this and ''look up look down'' belong together, because my girls shouldnt be separated. =)

WIP: box away

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i felt bad drawing only one of the 2 girls so i wanted to make another one for the paperbag girl, like a mini series.

look up look down

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WIP: look up

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morning drawing

ronoroa zoro gets a kinky girlfriend

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just a funny lil sketch for a forum battle thingiemabob, first time participating. =D

dandenail

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ayanami rei

now who could ever forget her.
i had the urge to draw her smoking a cigarette.

i found a new way of colouring: it's called ''don't care''. feels good, really.

WIP: dandenail

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random commentary: here i thought that i could store my winter clothes away for good, and the evil evil dark clouds of cold are reigning again. >..<

amplified love

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a t-shirt design for Ismail.

bucharest project

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a little something i did for Dani sometime ago.

face

another one of those i don't know whom i was drawing.
photoshop CS no ref.

conversation

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oh spring is finally here.

someone

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oh i got in to the list of top100 in the australian YEN magazine thingamabob. the submission that managed the entry was afraid to jump . hurray!

if i were in malaysia i could probably catch the exhibition and launching and sydney, but alas, i am faaaar away.

pillowhead

good night.

photoshop CS3

goodnight tv

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this was a real headache to finish, because there was a power trip in the middle of doing the work, and after losing a lot of work done to it, to get the mood and feel back to finish this was pretty much impossible. but i really liked this previously so i pushed to get something out of this.

on a side note, am feeling a lot better these days. took a 4 day trip to some snowy mountains and got some nice winter boots (too bad it's supposed to be getting warmer soon) as i couldn't take hiking on the snow with my stupid yet nice canvas shoes. also got a traditional film camera, the ones that bring back old nostalgic non digital times of life, and can't wait to see results of pictures taken the analogue way! (not being able to check if you looked like a stoner drunk in a picture that was taken until it's developed, GASP)

it was freaking cold, but the non-bucharest air was worth it.

pop it

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got distracted from the previous drawing so this is what came out from a lazy, distracted sketch. i quite like though. yum.

WIP: good night tv

terubozu

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i would say it's a bit different than the usual, but then again, i'm not sure. not too happy with this one but it was fun doing it nonetheless. it looks simple but i kept having minor changes to composition. hmm.

WIP: terubozu

cereal love

i guess this is the closest i can get to a valentine's work. not that i ever draw things for occasions.
yum.

limbo

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if you're not brilliant, you don't earn the right to be insane.

Happy Birthday, Love.

i want this tshirt

i want this tshirt please. with a 1000 mangoes.
mango my violent cat that will scratch your eyeballs out when you come near.
i want i want, kthnxbye.

open mind

coming back with a bang!
first personal work in freaking ages, all this bottled up in my mind and finally i can let something out. i feel really good today.

the return of the tablet

today i will get my wacom tablet.

can't wait can't wait can't wait! now i can finally channel all this lame insanity to make something. it's about time.

a complaint letter

that stillness in the air
heavy draperies of black thick tar
it's all too familiar
when everything and anything stops and considers
what attitude to adopt, what to make out of it
death comes, and death never goes.

awkwardness to sadness
they say you get used to things
but it gets to me, each time.
it bites, and it eats chunks away from me
soon enough there'll be nothing of me.

what kind of world do we live in
to cherish the gone and forget the now
where loving is child's play and yet
it is selfish to say, ''i love you''
where it is inconsiderate to show you care.

is love something you created only for you?
do you take them away because the only one who deserves it is you?
i am running out of it, so please do not be expecting
it is true i have no ownership, for i do not find it myself
i stumble upon it and take a peek, a mere insect fascinated by fire.

i did not need to have been taught the lesson
i never took for granted the love that comes
i refuse to believe that i am undeserving
for i love, and that is the only thing i have and can do
so please, please stop taking them away from me.

let me love because i am worthless without it.

aaAAaa smelly sock.

aaaaaAAAAaaaaaaaAAAaaa.

I LEFT MY WACOM TABLET BACK HOME. as in malaysia.

....

AAAaaaAAAAAaaaaAAAAAA.


i have a smelly sock for a brain, i really do.
ps/ i am back in bucharest. like duh.


i think i am starting to sound like an angsty teenager. it's the fault of the book i'm reading.

holiday post

No works for a while because I'm having the time of my life back home in Malaysia.
Did you know that Malaysia is, like, so cool? I didn't know. It's awesome.

I am absorbing the Malaysian-ness back into me, indulging myself with all that home has got to offer. And home's got to offer A LOT. I basically feel like I'm spoiling myself by just being Malaysian. It's THAT awesome.

Gonna hit East Coast in the first week of January. As in, the seaside. Yes. the sun is up, the sand is warm, the waters alive. <3 Sorry suckers, Malaysia's warm all year round. (Not sure whom I'm addressing but let me gloat for just a bit) Gosh I am starting to talk like my sister.

I'm in the mood to catch up with people and meet new peeps and do things(whatever that means), so if anyone's up to something and is/are somewhere around KL at the moment, drop me a line.

Happy holidays and a Happy New Year!

ps/2009 better be a better year or I'll have a boot up the ass of the responsible figure. And I will, without a doubt, FIND YOU.

portrait with bear

there is something harsh about this but i could not help it anymore.

Lone

birthday present for Lone, 11th december.
acryclics on canvas. can't remember the dimensions, but it was pretty small.



oh and since i was in the hardworking mood of taking pictures, this is how the corner of my new apartment where i paint and stuff. @_@ i got the hang of working on the floor.

help me help you

photoshop CS

go on and put the blindfold back on honey.

WIP: help me help you

compensating for lazy days.

pull it off

oh i forgot this one. damn it the absence of internet fucks up my chronological order of things.

extinguish

to break the dry spell, here's a little sketchy thing.

i have been M.I.A. due to the fact that i was living internet-less for 2 weeks, since i moved to a new, happier place. and by living internet-less i mean it in the pure sense. i wasn't going to friends' houses to use a minute of internet. well except for once, to purely check my email, and even then i didnt even read them. now i feel like a junkie that just broke out of rehab and bathing in goodies all over again. which i keep repeating this phrase to people.

it has been eventful lately, but it is now time to calm down. and back to the drawing board.

as a person, i feel that i am deteriorating. in many, many ways.
i don't know what i am doing, and the second i think i've got a grip on things, i fumble again.
i am quite afraid of what i'm growing into. i am indulging in the vengeance against nature, in a pointless, unproductive manner. perhaps destructive, even.
my name is a big burden to carry.

needless to say, consciously i am trying to work against deterioration. but the subconscious gets the best of me. if only it didn't affect the people around me, the people i really care about, i would have been glad.

flood in forest

not.. so sure where i got this from.
been watching a lot of supernatural and dexter lately. maybe the white nurse look is from House M.D.. beats me.

at least it's a change of colors. never painted in so much green before, i think.

photoshop cs.

WIP: forest flood

i know i was supposed to do more variation on the last one, which i did start working on actually. but i have this image that i just have to draw first. there'll be cute things added to this.

afraid to jump 1

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i plan to do more variations on this. this isnt how i pictured it to come out, but i felt too guilty of making so little strokes of colour. (i had really crispy cut out feel in mind. those are so minimalistically gorgeous)

WIP:afraid to jump

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i miss swimming pools.

because i

i smoke and drink too much. tone down? maybe if he breathes.

because i miss you.

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this winter

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back to the deadnessity of it all.
i simply love drawing just what i want to draw. i am not going to justify myself.

childish, a little wildish

photoshop CS
this doesn't say anything but boy did i have fun playing around. it's always hard to really make a decision on what looks good. plus it's a nice change from dark things, as some people have commented about the last few works.
oh title from damien rice's song-childish. how is is he so freaking good man. U_U

don't go

sketch photoshop CS. the comeback of the two chickas.

unwant dream

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gosh all those cigarettes.

it is hard being

if i danced hard enough, would you reappear as suddenly as you disappeared?
if i played all your favourite songs, would you listen to my words as well?

what if i told you i still love you.
all i need is for you to tell me how you're doing
all i need is for you to hear me say, i still love you.

it is tough being in love with a dead man
but loving you is too easy.

i hope there is internet wherever you are.



photoshop CS

WIP: it is hard being

work in progress

when i think of you

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on a side note,
it is quite hard to draw something that shows the emotion of missing someone.
and whoa my works are getting colder and colder.

on another side note,
oh god i never knew that paintball could massacre someone's legs so bad. and and and. i want to play more.

drastic measure

i am quite happy with this one. i am quite curious how the next few works will look like.
good news is that i might have gotten myself addicted to drawing all over again. feels like finding new love.

it's the good old days again.

WIP: save the record

as always, music really affects my attitude while drawing.
i should really stop listening to sappy things.
i like cute little bad girls. these two aren't too bad though. not yet anyway.

baby

more minimalistic sketches from me.
bear with me for a while.
i find it hard to come up with vibrant colours these days.
i hope it's a phase, because i really like colours.
funny, i noticed my drawings look really lifeless these days.

stand, you.

a nothing-much sketch. photoshop CS


another drwaing that i couldn't get the energy nor desire to finish. maybe one day. maybe one day.

help yourself

photoshop CS3

on a side note,
the healing process is a funny one.
and mango is giving me incredible scratch marks. the cat.
hmm. what else.
i need to start taking life by the balls. guess i have to find it first. *shrug*

WIP: please help yourself

damn photoshop wouldn't detect my pressure sensivity. utterly annoyed.

she found something new

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a come back work after more than 2 months.
i got my computer fixed yesterday, though i still don't know the fate of my hard disk.

drawing again, feels really overwhelming. i haven't exercised this part of the brain for a while. nor the hand. i hope things will get better from now on.

i have been a complete sloth the past months, waking up and it is the same as yesterday, and the day before. nights wasted on frivolous drinking and partying. but i have been concentrating more on the band. very sad about the fact that we had to replace our guitarist, but to keep going on i need to have goals. aiming for a gig after we have more songs down. my vision of the band has changed since we first started, it was only for the fun of it. but recently i have found a bit more passion in singing and the guitar, so i would like to work more on things.

painting on the other hand has been going very slow, but i'm picking up the pieces.

Time has told me nothing

Yesterday, on the 1 month (4 weeks) anniversary of his death, I went to Expirat, the last place both he and I were there.
Later in the night, I was dancing away by myself when a stranger came up to me with a concerned face and said,

'' Tu ai fost prietena lui Zinn?''

and I said nothing but nod. And he looked down, as if I was an abandoned puppy, and walked away without a word.

What hurt me wasn't the question, nor his manner,
it was the past tense he was using.

my time has stopped. since his did.
it is a little difficult in finding meanings in things now. doing things, humoring people, for the sake of doing.
i really don't want to do anything. it's been 16 very difficult days.
i need space.

trabant love

i do like the trabant much. although i don't think i've ever got the chance to sit or drive in one, much less own one. it's just one of those sweet cars.

on a random note: bad grammar is like nails on the chalkboard to my ears. although actually hearing bad grammar spoken isn't as bad as reading bad grammar written/typed. not to say that i have perfect grammar, but..i..just...feel..like..ranting silly. oh and it's especially funny when someone wants to make a serious point out there to some random person on YAHOO MESSENGER and types badly on their status messages. U_U *undecided whether to laugh or to barf first*

yes kiyaa is very evil today.

take you take me

this took a hell of a long time. figuring out what looks best for the two chickas over here. but i'm pretty happy with what came out of it. ^_^
and geez it's raining all the time these days. @_@

WIP: take you, take me

i have no idea what's happening with these two chickas, but there's something attracting me to them.
plus i think they're pretty hot. in their own secretive way.

save her save me

i just got this image in my head and i had to spit it out.

i think there is something to be found in sketches, and only as much as a year or two i can look back at this and go ''whoa what was i thinking''.

explicit soup

let's. ;)

car date

an old work (well maybe a couple of months or so), dug up and re-done. ^_^

oh and the title's pretty random, really.

spacegirl wants to look pretty

she does, and she's a bit lonely up there.

i was just looking through my old unfinished PSD files from up to 2 years ago, and man. i actually left pretty good works (or potentially good works) unfinished. i can picture myself at the time giving up after feeling worthless about not making it out to be how i pictured it to be(although most of the time, i really never DO have an idea how the end look should be. and thinking and deciding on that usually takes about half to 3/4 of the work time i spend on it).

just a discovery of old.. ''treasures'' is too grand a word for it but i can't think of another more humble, realistic word right now.

shy spacegirl

she's mortified in actuality.


gosh changing color schemes to something i'm not used to is difficult. god knows how long i took to decide on the contrasts and hues. but i think i can make something out of this.

save the hen

personally speaking, i couldn't care less for saving hens. i do care about eating them though.

i was just looking for references on the net and found a site with one of those animal enthusiasts activists' group. which, on a personal opinion, i feel is so silly it's almost sad. hens aren't even endangered. i don't have beef with people liking animals, but i do get annoyed at all the effort, energy and money on animals instead of people who would really need it.

it seems like i've created a paradox between my work and my description. awesome cool.

attack

jump cat jump!
now that exams are over i seem to be getting this artist's block. it is awfully annoying, and very inconvenient since i'll be working on a number of projects over the summer. and i am in denial about coming back home this summer. it's just very, very inconvenient timing. =(

arsonist no like fags

arsonist likes her real fags.

you know, like, ciggies? (oh gosh i'm being lame here)


ps/ this is not an attack to homosexuals in any way. @_@

it is unbelievably annoying that i get this pang for drawing and reading books during exam times. things i want to do arent necessarily unproductive, they just... don't quite help with my papers. U_U

WIP: arsonist no like fags

the happy arsonist

doodle.
i want to make sketchier things. at the same time i want to make more detailed things. tough combination to make.

this was, an experiment. although on what, i'm not sure. been a bit half awake the whole day/night.

yum?

finally getting my virgin hands onto texture waters.
oh i am addicted to dexter. as in the justified psycho killer. @_@

oh my gwaaad

my anxiety and constant surprises these days is well demonstrated by this illustration.
i found this while cleaning up my incredibly messy drives, i was playing around while working on that storyboard for ismail.

i took the plunge with a blindfold

hold on to your umbrella- part 1 of series
acrylics on 50x50cm
i drew in the signature digitally because it kills me to do that to the actual painting.


protect your happiness WIP-2

WIP: protect your happiness

embrace your D
*sigh* UwU


protect your happiness

i like it at this stage and i know after working some time at it it'll totally lose its fluidity. =(

oh the small painting at the back is a sneak peak to the painting from before ''otoko nante iranai''. it's pretty much 99.9% done, there's just some dots i haven't quite polished yet. :P

you said it and you wrote it down

i got tired of finishing up my painting assignments for school, and i just wanted to get back to my beloved tablet again.

i did not have anything in mind to draw, i seem to be in those days where i write feelings down instead of drawing. a shift of outlets, you can say. only for a while though, i know i've never been good at words anyway.

so i caught a glimpse of the reflection in my glass window of my face. and i just doodled after that. definitely nothing creative, it's just a chilling doodle, while taking a break from my canvases to take a fag.

ps/ i think i've hypnotised myself quite much these days with the music i've been playing.

Writers

Writers are amazing.
How they can be so expressive, and not give a care if anyone they know, or are close to, could judge them for what they write.
Your words, your thoughts, even if labeled ''fiction'' are still unmistakably produced from your mind. Writing them down, articulating abstract thoughts and feelings into words, onto paper- is already a form of total exposure, your own self being the first reader, the first discoverer to your thoughts- which I find even that by itself highly intimidating.
Writing for strangers, putting it all out in the open daylight, for them to peer into something so deep, your deepest darkest secrets- the patterns, the blueprint of your mind itself, like you have absolutely nothing to hide- that is absolutely courageous.

otoko nante iranai-on progress

acrylics on canvas 50x50cm

took care of it

don't wait for someone else to take care of it for you.

on the other hand,
i am crazy. i cannot sleep. no, i just don't try hard enough.

i gotta start downing sleeping pills soon.

assignment paintings

alina from studio (portrait of a studio colleague assignment)


alien communication (urban landscape assignment)

works still in progress. towards completion it always gets harder and harder, and i take longer and longer. i tend to skip from one painting to another and back to the older one all the time, to get that fresher eye and also from the fact that i get easily get sick after sometime. @_@

oh that's me in the mirror with my typical work painting clothes.

feeling a little wasted

i am getting these frequent pangs of paranoia these days that just hit me out of nowhere. like someone or something is going to take me away.

not to mention i am not getting the quality of sleep at the right times at all. i twist and turn, even if i'm not alone, and my brain cannot stop thinking.

it's not like i'm thinking about anything worldly or intelligent, like modern philosophy or social issues. most of the times i'm recalling memories (oh how i hate the word) and people i know, or used to know. people who used to be there and not anymore, and people who never used to be there but seemed to have been around me forever. how things turned out, how things never turned out. how people change, and stay the same, in an incredible amount of ways.

i do not discover new wisdom from all this, but i do get enlightened on things about myself.
i discovered that i am a lot more emotional a creature than the impression i seem to project to people. now. and this is driving me a little bit insane, there is no outlet where i can feel comfortable safe to talk about some useless things that bring no conclusion. i used to have prav, but. gazillions of miles away, no matter how you look at it it's hard to keep up.

maybe i'm being a narcissist or an elitist with my thoughts. or just acutely embarassed.



time is an annoying thing. it would be nice if i had a little remote control of my own.
there are things you know you're going to go through. and you know it well. shouldn't you get a forward button to skip the achingly slow storyline that you already know? like how watching a movie trailer, you'd know the beginning, the middle, the plot twist, and the ending of the story.

there are things you don't want to experience but you know you will. and just thinking about it already gives you that experience even if the time hasn't come yet. shouldn't that be considered as something that's past?

could time be a little bit kinder and give some leeway?

forgot

i forget the most important things and remember the most useless things.
it used to be funny.
not anymore.

flying V

Air Guitar!!


i need to buy lights for my room. the yellow lights is pissing the hell off me while painting. U_U
i've started painting at the balcony now, relying on natural sunlight. but i love working at night, so. i shall head to Brico store to get me some new white lights.

beat freak me out

oh i am sooo needing education on graphic and text design and composition. *knocks head on wall*
this took me bloody ages.

oh brian is playing. ^_^ hope i can catch the actual party, but the exam is being an ass for taking dates around june. U_U

storyboard

worked on a storyboard for george. these are random snippets of it.
ps/ it's my own apartment actually! =D

WIP: flyingV

ohgodohgodineedtostudyohgodohgoddenialgahh

sketch bulk2

since i also write some very personal things in the same book i had to censor some parts. lol. the opposite of the page with the sketch for ''don't let alcohol spill in your words'' are just song lyrics for the band so it's okay. ahha!

Shimetara Daijoubu

i'm still into the pixels thing it seems. it's a nice element to explore.

....not much comments on this one. it might be a wee bit too emo. *shrugs*

oh ps/ i just watched the movie ''Hanging Garden'' (2005). very, very, very, awesome. somehow a twisted family like that seems nice to have, i suppose it'll give you some different outlook on things. @_@

everything's gonna be okay if you close it

actual title that popped into my head: Shimetara daijoubu.
i just have been indulging in japanese movies and comics these days that i speak japanese to myself. yes, you don't have to tell me how lame that is. i can't help it so let me be!

oh and i seem to have problems finishing an artwork. but i don't want to not draw something that pops in my head just because i'm not done with one, i don't want to lose the feel that i got at that time. is that childish of me?

WIP: not on the same level

don't let alcohol spill in your words

i realise that i have low tolerance to drunk people, and even less for drunken people who talk.
i made my mind up on that after witnessing many unsightful drunkards in vama this week. i don't see the point for these people having fun and completely forgetting everything the next day @_@

advice to self and everyone else: if you get drunk, don't talk.

oh i had loads and loads of fun drawing the small lil censorship pixelated boxes. that i don't mind so much even if it didn't turn out easily recognisable. =D

may first.

happy labor's day! ironically i'm posting a work on this off-day. then again i don't actually hold the right to celebrate since i'm not techniccally in the labour community. gotta do something about that.
anyhows, i just thought of posting some scenes of a storyboard i've been helping ismail out with.

yesterday was a weird day though, i keep bumping into people i knew on the streets. now, bucharest is a pretty small town and people tend to go to the same places, but still. maybe i'm getting that weird feeling again of bumping into people because i haven't been out of the house that much in daylight.

avoidance is key

this is a wee bit different than the usual. i'm in a slightly delicate state these days, so i guess it explains the smoother feel in comparison to the usual works. i'm liking the flat feel these days.


something funky's happening to my photoshop, when i resized it in jpeg form it gets elongated. i tried different things and i'm not sure what it is that's the problem.

seaside, leaving tomorrow for vama veche. who's with me?

kiyaa taking a walk

i've abandoned the line art but i'm glad i still went with it. ahha!
i do have those shoes, socks, bag, dress, scarf. but the headphones, though, i left it at my ex work place a long time ago but i never get around picking it up. U_U although i loved it very muchly. lollipop may be a euphemism for just about anything. ;)

By the way, i went to the ''grandma's backyard'' at la scena yesterday, supposedly an art flea market. the site gave me the impression that they were selling vintage and second hand things for people who are looking for nice treasures among trash for a cheaper price. it wasn't quite like that.
it was a lovely place, but the impression that i got after taking a look around was that it was more of a show rather than a market. there were nice handmade works: clothes, bags, badges, shoes etc, but most of the prices, sorry to say, were not of art market material. i understand that they were viewed more as ''artworks'' than actual utility objects by the creators but for a mass selling like that i would suggest diverting their priorities from a ''solo exhibition''(which weren't quite anyway since it was a gathering of them) to business related to art that would actually be distributed and shared among the public who were interested to bring something nice home.

somehow i'm getting the impression that the artsy people in bucharest, (the ones i've been running into) are rather hardcore elistist, being in the domain because it's the trend. to me, there is a difference between talent, and talent coupled with a tinge of arrogance and elitism. just a small opinion of mine derived from various observations around.
i really hope it changes for the better in the future.

coffee cake love

i feel like making a new ID for my Deviantart account, so this is the wip. =D
been working more with my paints these days. i seem to have a problem properly finishing each and everyone of them. and gosh i need tor ush for my school assignments. U_U

stuck in car

this came out totally different. i seem to have this pattern of sticking with a 2nd or 3rd try of colors. in a way it's good, i don't give up all that easy. in a way it's bad, i'm losing my ''do it once and be done with it'' at first try. then again i'm still in training. *shrugs*

couldnt sleep after watching ''Shutter'' the thai version. U_U it was extra scary, watching it in the middle of the night without anyone with me.

stuck in car WIP

okay, after hanging out with car freaks i'm interested to illustrate some. expect more vintage looking cars your way. =D

needing a break for myself

the art demonstration went great, i was surprised the amount of attention i received.. at one point i turned back and saw the room absolute full, and got even more nervous than before. when i was finished, people applauded, and when i stood up my legs were trembling. that was a lot of fun though. =)


i took a week long holiday for myself when a Malaysian friend of mine from Birmingham made a visit over here, so i havent been working on anything at all other than the last pieces i made for Fabrica. i just thought to post the other variations i made. the last image with the tanks were placed in a different composition though, i'm too lazy to remake that. lol.

no war just alcohol

THIS TOOK SO FUCKING LONG eventhough the end result looks like it's awfully simple. i couldnt decide on the last element. i'll later post the other variations i had, which took most of the day. bwah!

title change: no war just alcohol. the first time the idea hit the mind it always was ''alcohol'' instead of ''drink'' but i thought i'd censor it just a bit. but well, screw the underage kids.

WIP: no war just drinks

no war just music

oh god i took so long to get this complete, and the end result is totally different than when i was halfway through. but i'm glad i didnt give up, i quite like this one especially the composition.

i gotta learn how to apply textures. @_@

no war just dance

working on a series now, there was another one before this ''no war just music'' but i'm really dissatisfied with it. might do it from scratch again.

involuntary attention

i couldnt quite work on it anymore although there's so much more i would like to touch up on. bwagh.

cat sequence wip

a wayyyyy too long overdue gift for hazleen, one of the fewwwest malaysian friends in bucharest. cat sequence!

lighter

it seems like lighters experiences some sort of self combustion and disappears after exploding into smithereens whenever i have hold of them. i'm lighting my cigarettes with the stove now, and even the kitchen stove lighter is dying on me.

http://kissyourenemy.blogspot.com

i'm going to be there for the art demonstration, check it out. personally i think it's gonna be a cool event, it seems that there are going to be lotsa things going on.

WIP

-

so i havent got pictures from Ioana yet so photos from the trip will have to come later.


i saw this old type machine somewhere on the way between bremerhaven and frankfurt in a restaurant. oh such a pretty thing.


doodled this in the car moving from vienna to bucharest. this is the lovely chiara who let us ''couch-surf'' and stay at her apartment for the night, whose apartment is filled of posters of the prettiest guys. the boy in the bubble may or may not exist, and any resemblance is purely coincidental. U_U


bearthe (not sure how her name is spelled) who let us stay at her place in kempten, her house overlooking this huge green area that's only dotted by some cute farmhouses/horse stables.

this is from yesterday during art history class, from something what my brother and i talked about.




and oh i managed to get one of me in here. @w@

and another.

riding on germany

as you can see my seemingly non stoppable updates are brought to a screeching halt. well that's because i'm having the time of my life cruising around germany.
not without bumpy rocks along the way though, we got stuck in a ghost port town for a night, had a drink in a bar below the dodgy hotel (yet pretty classy in it's 1970's bracket) which were full of classic truckers. at one point i couldve sworn i heard people speaking in some sort of texan accent.
and last night we got stuck in the attic room of a hotel, which size matches the size of my small little apartment kitchen. brian and ioana were convinced that the hotel dude was on crystal or some sort while servicing us, because his logic went totally inversed, and he was hopping around like a hyper lil easter bunny. he, at first, thought that we only needed a room for one person, and he fixed us a single room. after observing the fact that all three of us pulled out luggage of 3 person's worth, he went frantic and went to fix us something different. an even SMALLER room.
and i used to think that inversed logic only happened in romania (no offense, but it is kinda funny if it's to a laughable extent). apparently this epidemic is universal. merhaps paybe, my own is inversed and other people's arent. oh no, vicious cycle. kiyaa, don't go there.

berlin on the other hand, had been a surprisingly innocent trip. here i was thinking i would be making friends with mohawked punks and SnM queens, but four of us (Ioana, Brian, Beatrice and I) managed to be good lil kids and stayed in for all nights after long day of actually visiting places. the ''baddest'' place Ioana and i got to hang out at was Studio 54, which was a building of 4 or 5 floors converted into some sort of urban artsy angst manifestation. the cute bartender we got to get a drink with was telling us the dirty lil secrets behind the scenes of this seemingly ''open-fresh-noncapitalistic'' art space, while also managing to mention like 6874 drug names in the half hour chat. studio 54 was a drug house, no doubt about it.

in frankfurt, however, i could not make much comment, because we ended up in some minimal house music and i had to replace my soberity with drunknessity to be able to jiggy-with-it.

updates with pictures later, cheers!

tracey fragments

i coughed this out after watching the movie ''the tracey fragments''. ellen page is my favourite actress at the moment, along side with rosaria dawson.

she doesnt look much like ellen page at all, i didn't refer to any photo while sketching this out. =/



and after that i accidentally made juno. another one that doesnt look like her, just from memory from several weeks ago when i watched it at the cinema.

art history-revisiting sketchbook

so i had art history lecture today. which means lots of doodling.

oh i still don't know how to work with this blogspot thing so that the images arent cut off on the side, so you gotta click on the image(thumbnail, although pretty large ones) to see the whole thing. if you care. =)


that's andra, a really pretty friend of mine who has the most marvellous dreadlocks and the coolest vintage hippy clothing around. i could spot her from a mile away. anyone could.


so the slide projector was showing the sculpture of a man on a horse... why cant fishes ride horses too?


i suddenly thought of sadako while the normal looking professor was going on and on...


and the whole time my stomache was terrorizing the class. happens everytime.


this drawing is the cause of signe, claudiu and i skipping the 2nd hour of anatomy class yesterday. we didn't get the cake though, nor the glass of Wembley's and the mad DJ has gotta wait till the weekend. alas, the japanese tea house was great.

while these 2 are sketches when i was sitting in that irish pub in budapest several weeks back, while brian was busy on the wi-fi tracking down parties happening that night for us to hit.

dog walk

i'm supposed to be working on a hand portrait for school, but i find myself crawling back to my sofa bed to have a smoke and before i know it i'm scribbling something on photoshop.

the song D.A.N.C.E from Justice doesnt have anything to do with the work but it fits somehow with the work. been listening a lot to JUNO soundtrack as well. i've just been listening to lots of new things these days.


and here's my miserable hand portrait assignment. we're actually supposed to do a normal basic study of our own hand, but i felt like taking it to another level. :P

movie

wip: i felt like doing something sexy. my first work with some extent of nudity, the female boob is rather confusing to draw at first. i guess i just have to remember how mine look. lol.


tekkon kinkreet is super awesome. apparently a japanese american directed it or something. but it was, awesome. small things like car doors opening, was superbly painted. damn, that patience and that... i'm just thinking, how could the artists have the same passion from the start to end, because i personally think that if i worked on something so much for so long, i can never retain the same quality. it would either be getting better, or worse, or in a completely different manner, somehow.

first post

i'm posting up works here, and perhaps some snippets of what i've been up to.

these days i feel too swamped by too many things and i need a new start on things. i usually update works on DA, but i never upload any sketches or seemingly 'unfinished' works because i tend to have a higher benchmark of what i should upload over there.

since this is the first post, i'll put up the last work i've done before creating this blog.